Talking lions can help your child settle down for bed...

Recently, I decided to try a new bedtime routine with V. I have tried to read with her at bedtime before and it never works because she just talks the whole time and interrupts the story and frustrates me and wounds her up instead of winding her down for bed. However, she is getting older, so I decided to try reading a chapter a night out of a book series. I was also more clear about my expectations while we were reading. So far, it has gone really well! We started with "The Magician's Nephew" from the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. She ADORES the book and starts asking after her shower if we have time to read each night. Of course, there are nights where she goofs around and doesn't shower quickly and we don't have time to read but I really try to get to it each night if possible. It's so nice to end the night with cuddles and reading rather than just quick hugs and tucking and fussing to stop talking and go to sleep.

So what do your kids like to read at bedtime? We have a while before we finish Narnia (it's a 7 book series) but I would love suggestions for what to read next.

Witty Visms (guaranteed to make you giggle or your money back!)

My sweet V. How she loves to talk! If it were an Olympic sport, she would have more medals than Michael Phelps. However, as much as she likes to talk, she pronounces certain words so hilariously that you cannot help but laugh at her. She also comes up with the wackiest things! Let me share some of my favorites from the long weekend...

******************************************************************************
Me: (Friday afternoon on the way to the dentist) How was school today?

V: Good. We have this new girl and she's from another state and she had a fit at school today.

Me: Oh, my! What happened?

V: She got mad and said she hated our school and she hated our TEACHERS (said very dramatically because that's the worst thing you can say in 3rd grade, I believe) and that she was going to call her dad and tell him to move her back where she moved from because people in the South are just ig-nore-ment.

Me: Did she mean ignorant? (snickering under my breath)

V: Yeah. I just couldn't remember how to say that word she said when she was being so mean to us.

Well, if this kid thinks the South is ignorant, at least V is doing all she can to change her mind. HAHA!

****************************************************************************
Tim, V and I were watching the Today show on Saturday morning and the reporter was interviewing people about how they are cutting their budgets this summer. All of the people were in New York City and were talking about how they were going to this state and that state for vacation. Tim and I were amazed because hello! You live in New York. You have tons of places to go and do things without even leaving your city. We started talking about our ideal dream vacation. V jumped in...

V: If I could go anywhere, I want to go to China.

Tim: Why would you want to go there?

V: So I could see where all my toys are made. Every single toy I have says on the bottom "Made in China." I bet they have really cool toy making places there.

****************************************************************************
Monday morning...

V: So Mommy, what are you remembering today?

Me: Huh? What do you mean?

V: Well, today is Mem-oral Day...you have to reMEMber something.



Hope everyone had a great Mem-oral Day weekend! :)

Evidently it just wasn't feeling in the mood...

Tonight we had an awards program at V's school. She received a "Stellar Writing" award for her excellence in writing. Go kid! We were so proud of her. During the presentation, they mentioned something about each student and V's said something to the effect that she shows her personality and uses her voice in her writing. Her stories were very entertaining. MY KID? Nah. She's just boring. LOL!

On the way home, she was tired and wound up after all that excitement! and talking with friends! and turning around during the program! so Tim was talking firmly with her about how she needed to behave during a program the next time she went to one. She was being her typical 8 year old self and arguing and backtalking, so it became necessary to pull the car over. Yeah, nothing good ever happens when that event occurs. Tim had an even firmer talk with her and we headed back on the road to get home.

About five minutes from home, the arguing and backtalking started again (don't you just love the age of 8? Evidently about 2 minutes after you turn 8, your parents turn into idiotic morons and you know everything. Just a warning for you parents of 7 year olds out there...you will soon be stupid). Here's what happened next...

Tim: V, I have already talked to you several times about this sassiness and if it continues, I guess my hand will have to have a talk with your bottom.

V: (very serious and polite) Oh, no sir! It really doesn't feel like talking right now.

I almost DIED laughing!!! I am sure it was not helpful for the whole parenting thing, but it was a stress reliever that Tim and I needed. We looked at each other the rest of the drive and kept cracking up. That kid of ours...it's a good thing she's so stinkin' cute.

Mars/Venus (guest post)

School is winding down and I am getting ready to start standardized testing with my 2nd graders, so needless to say, things are hectic and really busy this time of year. I hate to disappoint my blog readers (all 3 of you!) by not posting, so I thought I would invite a close personal acquaintance to guest post. I hope you will enjoy...

"Why girls are better than boys" by V. Patterson (age 8, 3rd grade)
Boys and girls can be different sometimes but sometimes boys and girls can be the same. Here's some examples why I think girls are better than boys. Girls are as sweet as sugar and boys are as mean as a tiger. What are little girls made of? Little girls are made of sugar, and all of the nice things. What are little boys made of? Little boys are made of snakes and spices and lemons and other mean things. Girls do good things like clean their room, share their toys with everyone (even the mean boys)! Boys do gross things like leave their room messy and get dirty with dirt all over them and scare girls. Boys like to play with dirt and trucks while girls like to play with pretty dolls and dress up and they also like to play on swings and slides and some girls even like to read everywhere, even in bed like my mom did when she was a little girl. My opinion is that girls are better. But sometimes boys and girls can yet be the same in some ways.

**Reprinted with permission from the author.***

I wonder if she will still feel the same way when she gets married...hmmm? :) I think God needs to send someone a little brother. Haha!

Apparently the economy is not as bad as we are being led to believe...

Due to nighttime bedwetting issues, we always get V up in the middle of the night to help make sure she is still dry in the morning. She is not an easy kid to get to sleep, but once she is out, she is OUT! When you wake her up to go potty, she walks like a zombie and can say the funniest things. Here's a little snippet of our potty conversation last night...

Me: V, get up. It's time to go potty. (Here's where I have to take her hand and lead her to the bathroom or she blindly walks into the playroom, down the stairs, in our bedroom....)

V: Hey, Mommy, guess what?

Me: What baby?

V: I just got a job!

Me: (giggling under my breath) Really? That's great. What are you going to be doing?

V: Oh, you know. Job stuff.

Then we walk back to her bed, I tuck her back in, and I crack up laughing. That girl is a hoot, even in her sleep!

This blog is brought to you today by the number 2 and the letter V

Great Sesame Street reference there, huh? Yeah, that's how I learned to read. I still adore Sesame Street and would watch it right now if it was on.

Recently I learned a sad, sad fact. My child will never follow in my footsteps and continue the female teaching tradition of our family. I know you are dying to know why. Here's the story...

V LOVES her name. Mostly, she LOVES her first letter. Any time we see anything with a V, she gets so excited and points it out to us. Recently, we started yelling out "V!" whenever we watch "Wheel of Fortune" because it cracks her up so badly.

The other day I was watching my niece M. She is almost 8 months old and is very vocal, so we were driving in the car and she was singing in her little baby talk. I told V she should sing back to her. She wasn't sure what to sing, so I suggested the ABC song. Here's how she sang it,

"A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P"
I was pretty proud at this point because she distinctly pronounced the L-P part which I am a real stickler about. It stinks to have a teacher for a mom. Then she started the next part:

"Q, R, S, T, U, VEEEEEEEEEEEE"
The V was sang in this high pitched squealy, "Oh, I just love myself!" kind of voice. Here is where I had to bite my lip (see yesterday's post if you don't know what I am talking about.)

"W, X, Y, and Z. Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me."

I just cannot in good conscience let that girl go out into the world and teach kindergarteners their alphabet like that. She doesn't want to be a teacher anyway...she wants to work with her daddy on computers at "his college." I guess she will follow in one of our footsteps.

Biting my lip...

I recently read a great book about teaching that said teachers have to bite their lips a lot. Basically, we hear all kinds of funny things (because as you know, kids say ANYTHING!) and of course we don't want to laugh AT them, so we bite our lips and share later with fellow teachers after school. :) Parents, if you are reading this, you probably know the 1/2 rule about teachers and kids. I tell my parents, "I'll believe about 1/2 of what they tell me about you if you believe about 1/2 of what they tell you about me." Haha! My daughter is one of those who tells EVERYTHING about her day at school and her teachers. I know all of their kids names, what they did on the weekend, what their favorite things are, etc etc etc.

Anyway, today V did something that made me bite my lip because of how completely blond she can be sometimes. She is doing a writing assignment because they are starting standardized testing and they are practicing for the test. The assignment is to write a letter to the principal stating why you think they should or should not have to wear uniforms. V's reasons against uniforms were that they cost a lot of money to buy at the costume shop and if you wore your police or nurse outfit to school, your uniform could get dirty. YA'LL - she thought it meant PROFESSIONAL uniforms.

I am going to pause and let you crack up laughing.

I had to explain to her that the assignment meant SCHOOL uniforms and what school uniforms were like and then she had to re-do it because her reasons didn't make sense (of course!) She is still anti-uniform. Her major reason why: because God made us all different and He wouldn't want us to all dress the same.

My sweet, sweet blond girl.

'Cause cyber pets are so much easier...

V LOVES her Nintendo DS. I am probably the meanest mom on the planet because I am so anti-video games. We have a wii, which is fun, because we can all play together. However, I never had ANY video games growing up so I really limit her time with the DS. She pulled her grades up from the slump they were in, and she got all A's for the 2nd nine weeks, so she has gotten her electronic privileges back and she is all about the DS. She got a new game for Christmas that basically lets you create a cyber kitten - you get to name it, play with it, clean it, the whole nine yards. Forget the fact that we have two LIVE cats and LIVE dogs - she loves her cyber kitty Amber almost as much as the real thing. After school yesterday, she was telling me that she had a "cat show" so she HAD to go on her DS because she would have to pay money (fake game money, of course) if she didn't go to the cat show that day. V, the sweet little persuader that she is, told me that the last time she had a cat show that she came in 2nd place and earned $10. Here's our conversation about the cat show...

"Want to know how I earned $10 for the cat show, Mommy?"

"Sure, V. Tell me all about it!"

"Well, I fed my kitty and gave her a bath and watered her and loved on her and cleaned up her litter box."

"Wow! That sounds awesome! Why don't you do that for our kitties at our house?" (She does feed the cats and loves them to death - sometimes too much. It's the litter duty that I was most interested in).

"Mommy! These are FAKE cats, not real cats. All you have to do is move your stylus over the poop and it magically disappears!"

That statement made me laugh so hard I got tears in my eyes. If only it was that easy in real life... :)

Sugar cookies, take II (or V's latest obsession)

V and I were off from school today because of MLK Jr. Holiday (thank you, Rev. Dr. King!) so we decided to bake some sugar cookies. Remember my earlier debacle here? I definitely learned my lesson, so this time we started with some pre-made sugar cookie dough (thank you, Pillsbury!). We had to make the cookies today before we went back to school because they had BOX TOPS ON THEM. Do you all know about this wonderful program??? (I hope you are detecting my complete and utter sarcasm here.) Certain foods you buy have these little box tops on them and they are worth so much money. V takes them to her school and turns them in to her teacher. For each 5 box tops they bring in, they get a "spot" on their giraffe (they have a wildlife theme at their school this year). The class with the most spots gets....a pizza party at the end of the year!!!! I swear, my child would go out and eat worms if you promised her a pizza party. It's not like we don't eat pizza here at least once or twice a week. But promise her a pizza party...and she will do anything!

Back to the original story....V has become obsessed with box tops. If she is anything, that girl is competitive! One day I went into the pantry to pack her lunch to find all the tops cut off my boxes...because they had box tops on them. While I was cooking breakfast this morning, she had gone through the fridge to find any box tops on refrigerated food. She stalks us when we bring groceries home from the store to see if we purchased anything with box tops. One day, I am going to find a dead horse's head in the pantry surrounded by boxes with no tops. (Bonus points if you can tell me what movie that's from!) So, after reminding me about ten gazillion times to remember to cut off the box top from the cookie tube, I was really tired about hearing about the blessed box tops. We just started this program at my school so I threatened her if she reminded me one more time about that box top that I was going to take it to MY school and try to win MY class a pizza party. I know, I know, I am a horrible parent, but she quit pestering me every five seconds. I finally cut the box top and gave it to her after we finished decorating all the cookies and you would have thought I gave her a million dollars. "Oh, Mommy, thank you SO MUCH!" (We definitely have a flair for the dramatic around here, if you can't tell by now.)

By the way, the sugar cookies turned out MUCH better this time around. We were actually able to cut them with cookie cutters and roll them with a rolling pin and I didn't have a temptation to say bad words one time because everything worked like it should. We even decorated them with sprinkles and chocolate chips and had a great fun time. :)

PS - if you have any box tops, feel free to send them our way. V would be eternally appreciative. :)

Another year is here....what will it bring?

Sorry to all for the negative post last night - I really am so thankful for everything that has happened this year. Here are some highlights of 2008....
** We adopted Lilly, our sweet and goofy English bulldog puppy. After a horrible bout with pneumonia and a cherry eye surgery, she is finally healthy! She is our baby and such a funny addition to our family.
** V started 3rd grade at a new school. Her previous school (where I teach) only goes up to 2nd grade as it is a primary school, so this brought some nervousness on both of our parts. Her first time in a new school AND her first time not at school with Mommy. However, we both survived and she is doing really well! She made "A" honor roll for the first 9 weeks so we are incredibly proud of her.
** Tim survived a crazy freak accident at his work where the roof was blown off and his office was destroyed. While he wasn't there at the time, it was a long few months while the roof was being repaired and he had to work in a makeshift office. Thankfully he is back in his office and able to get things back in order.
** We found a fantastic new doctor's group for V's ADHD. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it was a huge help for our family. I LOVE her new doctor and psychologist and they have been a huge asset as we transitioned to the new school this year.
** My niece Madison Brooke was born in July. She is such a sweet blessing to our family! We enjoy spoiling her -- V loves being "the big kid" who gets to help take care of her. Plus, it's the best arrangement - I just give her back to my sister when she gets fussy or needs a diaper change. :)

So, that was our 2008 in a nutshell. What happened for you and your family this year? I am so excited to see what will happen in 2009!

Happy freakin' new year

I am not normally a grouch...those who know me well can attribute to that (my husband does not need to add any input here). However, there are a few things that rile me up and annoy me. I HATE fireworks. Now, if it is the 4th of July, I think they are great. I love buying sparklers and small fireworks and doing them in the driveway. But on New Years Eve? Really??? Right after college, when Tim and I had first gotten married, we lived in a small apartment (which seemed so big to us at the time lol) across the street from a family of some Oriental descent. They LOVED shooting fireworks and would pick the oddest days of the year to shoot them. Tim and I used to joke that we knew all the Chinese holidays after living there. We had a golden retriever at the time who was terrified of fireworks and I used to get so annoyed seeing her so scared and hiding in the bedroom. Fast forward almost 6 years - now we live in a neighborhood down the street from these people who will shoot fireworks for any occasion. They just started about 15 minutes ago. Are they done? Nope - they will shoot them on and off ALL.NIGHT.LONG. We don't have our golden any more but we have this 72 pound weenie bulldog named Caedmon who HATES fireworks. He just started crying and whining and will keep it up all night long. To top it off, V just got woken up too. She has been up late several nights over this break and has been having a hard time falling asleep at her normal bedtime. She just fell asleep...now she's back up. Arrrrghhh....I hope you guys are having a better New Year's Eve!

Noisy toys

I don't know about you, but what is it with toys having to have to have some kind of noise? I worked in an educational toy store while I was in high school and maybe it spoiled me, but I never bought toys for anyone else's child that had some crazy noise or played a song. It seems like that is all my child ever gets! For Christmas, she got this Hannah Montana doll from my aunt that sings a song called "Old Blue Jeans." I am now an expert on all the words to this song. Today we went to McDonalds with a friend and her kids. All the kids got this ugly Shrek baby who screams, says dada and burps - LOUDLY. Lovely. In the past five minutes, I have heard Hannah Montana, the Shrek baby, and the sound of a fairy wand going "ding!" I think I need to go start dinner and distract my child with something other than a noise making toy.